And Everything Was Beautiful

by 156/Silence

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about

Recorded, mixed, and mastered by Dave Rosenstraus at
The Braddock Hit Factory
Artwork by Kyle Hines
Additional Vocals on "Omnipotent" provided by Tyler Cramer

156/Silence is:

Michael Ernst - Vocals
Jimmy Howell - Guitar/Vocals
Evan Wall - Guitar/Vocals
Aleks Pihl - Bass/Vocals
Zac Dranko - Drums

credits

released July 22, 2016

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156/Silence Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

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Track Name: Entropy
My eyes open to a crepuscular vision: fluorescent lights invade my unsuspecting eyes.
It feels as if I haven’t moved in weeks… my muscles ache, and they burn as I try to stand up on my own two feet.

Can someone tell me how I got here?
This room is nice and all but I feel like you made a mistake.
I had a plan, I had my reasons… but whatever your intentions are I swear they’re not worth it.
You must see my life as valuable but you failed to flip the price tag and see just how expensive it is to keep all this baggage, this hate, and self loathing that’s been tearing at me for all these years.

As I stand nice and tall I put on a show of balance to show this doesn’t come so easy anymore.
Whoever’s watching I hope you’re entertained as I lose my mind in this room that feels like my personal prison.

I feel as though I’m being judged even though I know there’s no eyes on me anymore.
Self contained thoughts delay my own thinking, I know I was wrong and regret everything.
I need to get to the door and see who can help me, so that I know that I’m not alone.
One twist of the knob, to freedom I come... yet all I hear is a click… and it’s locked.
Track Name: Liberation is Beyond Me
I sit idly by trying to count the number of days I’ve been locked away. My mind tends to wander to the deepest of my memories, it seems to be the only form of movement my body gets anymore. I’ve managed to project these thoughts onto these walls, I call them portraits but to others they’re just sad excuses for living. I see them as an escape, a reason to keep on trying even though some of these thoughts push me to the brink of crying I am confident that I’ll find my way out and I’ll be reunited with the life I almost lost… at least that seems to be the plan… and we all know how plans end up.

And although I keep these portraits as positive as I can there seems to be a leak of negativity that seeps into the cracks. You may not be able to see them very well, it takes a special skill of self-hatred to pinpoint such a flawed design. Just stand back a bit and I promise everything will look fine. It only takes some distance for you to realize your problems can’t be seen anymore, which seems to be my philosophy on life ever since I can remember.

But what’s the purpose of these thoughts when I spent my whole life trying to forget?

I just stood idly by watching as my life just walked to the other side of hope where there seems to be no return. I owed it to my family to make a better life for myself… you can call me a liar but I’ll just point you to this imaginary picture on this hallucinative shelf. Look, here, here’s a picture where everyone was smiling at just the right time... but it all means nothing when half those smiles were faked and look at me, there in the corner, wearing the brightest mask of all. I hid it well, I made sure to keep my book as closed as I could and it paid off, oh how it paid off so well. I hid my true thoughts in the chapters of my life where I was most alone… an autobiography that never made it to print… so you’ll never know of the pains I faced on every waking day.
Track Name: Love is Timeless But Hate Dies with The Hateful
I rushed as fast as I could to see the shell of the boy I raised laying helpless on this bed.
Tubes racing in every direction holding the chemicals of life that you seem to lack on your own
As a concerned parent it’s now apparent you were a troubled mind

Tell me where did I go wrong when I raised you?
Was it the over-affection or the willingness to listen?
I’ve put nothing but the best in front of you and this is what you put in front of me.

I’m sorry, my mind is running in circles as my legacy lays in front of me in broken pieces
I’ve tried collecting my thoughts, I’ve tried reaching to the god I know you don’t believe in with hopes he’ll finally change your mind

Tell me where did I go wrong when I raised you?
Was it the over-affection or the willingness to listen?
I’ve put nothing but the best in front of you and this is what you put in front of me.
If only you could hear my voice and know the pain you brought to me
I sit here alone and think “No mother should watch her child die”

But I’ll say your apology just to hear “I’m sorry”
And I’ll say “it’s quite okay, we all make mistakes sometimes”

Thinking through these months where I never heard from you
How much pain were you going through? How many times did you scream for help?
I tried to call, I tried to be there… I just wanted to show I still care
Now look at you (now look at you)
I just wish I could set you free!
Track Name: This Familiar Torture is All Too Comforting
A faint creak reveals that my prison has allowed me to finally leave behind these unadorned walls, yet I have the urge to stay as if bonded to the memories I managed to paint within the lines of regret.
I’ve never been one to take too many risks and now I finally feel like I’m home and I’m safe.
A quick peek out of the doorframe reveals nothing but a caliginous void… much like how my mind has been the past couple days.
I only wish I had a coin to flip, or a lifeline to ask for help… but it’s just me, oh it’s just me, and I’m torn… oh I’m torn on what to do

Suddenly my situation’s changing right in front of my eyes
Have I been here for far too long to change it now?

I can hear voices coming from the darkness that sound too encouraging
Could it be a sign of hope or am I just going crazy?
I’ve lost my sense of sanity too many times before, but for once I feel compelled to just walk out that door

Deep breaths seem to be my only form of stress-relief as I take steps closer to a world I’ve never seen. And I can only think back to the time you walked out on me... maybe this is exactly how you felt… maybe that’s the only motivation I need to stand up to my fears and prevent them from conquering me. I know I’m stronger than this and I can’t let this be my defeat.

Suddenly my situation’s changing right in front of my eyes
Have I been here for far too long to change it?
After everything I’m still the same man, no matter what lies beyond this lightless wall
I have been here for far too long to have this change me now
Track Name: And Everything Was Beautiful
As I let my head hang down I can hear familiar whispers from the voices I grew to love, the ones I thought I would never miss.

But instead I went ahead and proved to you how weak I was, I tried my best and tried to fight for as long as I could.

From where you’re standing you can tell I really didn’t try that hard, instead I took an easy way out and tried to run from all of my problems… you know the way I usually do… my predictable actions meet intangible dark thoughts all mixed in this vat labeled “Caution: I’m Unstable”. And I’ll warn you all so many times just to hear the same reply of “it’s all okay, I’m sure it’s not so bad”.

I promised them it wouldn’t take long at all to see who I really am… or at least who I portrayed to be.

I can sit here and throw out all of my problems with simple excuses
To pass the blame on to the unsuspecting
I had a routine and I never veered from it, I never took blame for my faults or my actions

I’m stuck in my mind, a self-contained prison
A tortured soul facing punishment as I’m left here with only my thoughts

Can anyone hear me? If only I could show a sign of life
I promise I’m still here, I’m not leaving you
Track Name: Redemption Through Unwanted Pious Thoughts
Oh, Lord, what have you given me? A child of your vision that seemed to have rebelled your way of living.
Have you read the book of truth to know what you did?
Allow me to read from Ecclesiastes 7:17

“Be not over much wicked, neither be you foolish: why should you die before your time?”
These are the words that are written for you, the ungrateful child who took his life for granted
You spit in the face of the man who died for your sins, he suffered for you
Yet now all you’ll see is the flames from the hell that you made for yourself, there’s no saving you

May God have mercy on your soul
If all goes well that will be the least of your problems

Let me refer you to the Book of Job where Job was in your very predicament, but instead of going through with this hellish act he placed his trust in God and had his soul forever saved

So for you to go against the words of this scripture, you’re going against all the rules of life and how he envisioned you act on this planet
He had a plan for you, he paved the way of your life yet you decided to veer away and find a new path
You were trying to find something better, you were trying to find something more fulfilling

This is the Lamb of God who takes away the sins of the world, Happy are those who are called to his supper
There’s no need for you to wait by your phone, your call’s never coming
You had too many chances to right all your wrongs and now you just lay on your deathbed with no tears to shed
May the Lord Jesus protect you and lead you to eternal life
And I’ll pray for your soul, trust me you’ll need it

I will pray for you until there is no sign of life coming from the machines that keep you breathing each second
And I’ll wait until you’re taking your final breaths to pray to your saviour for mercy on your

Soul-less venture taken by greed and without a thought for those that you love
They sit by your bed and they cry every night all because you were finding another way out of

This life you took for granted only to wind up motionless on this bed
You’ve known all the outcomes, there’s no second chances
Track Name: Sublimation of Internal Strife
I watch the sky as it turns to emptiness, soft eerie sounds fill within my head
I feel the ground as it starts to rumble, the veins of cracks split beneath my feet
Internal fears begin to rise up from the ground, anxiety sets in once again
What kind of God did I upset this time? Is it too late to pray for forgiveness now?

Who would’ve known karma comes around full circle?
All these plagues rest within my thoughts
I lost control, freed all my phobias

I need to make it to my room where I feel safe, it’s my personal heaven
I cannot escape, every turn is worse

I feel useless, I feel betrayed by my own brain
I conjured up these demons sent out to destroy me

I never thought twice to the words that I spoke
And I’ve never stood up for the right cause
Now just look where that got me
Now just look where that got me

Now just look where that got me
Now just look where that got me
Track Name: Omnipotent
I’ll take a look in this mirror, I can’t tell who’s staring back at me
I’m just a stranger in my very own body
Yet now I have control

Stand up, it’s time to face me like a man
I’m tired of running, this needs to end
You’re just a figment of my mind, a mild hallucination
One quick thought and your existence is over

Bow to me, I am now your king
I will be your savior
Yeah!

Here stands my own paradise I could only construct within my dreams
Be careful where you tread, the line is too thin
Cross me once and I’ll be sure to end you

I am not forgiving
I am the decider on how my life is suppose to go

Come at me now, I pray
I will destroy everything you know and love
For once I have control, and now the tables turn

Here stands my own paradise I could only construct within my dreams
Be careful where you tread
Cross me once and I’ll be sure to end you
Track Name: The Cost of Free Will
Stage set mind fade in: A drafty unkempt home
Solitude in a hollowed shell… it's my own personal hell
Cerebral distress, a whole fucked up mess of things
Of regrets that my mind can't quite comprehend of time spent, of time lost
Take me back to when my heart was whole

This is my heavy hearts final act

Flash back to whole when a soul once remained
With my mind dead, this is my heavy heart...
Track Name: Natural Born Failure
No, what happened to my empire?
This city of dreams now cascading to dust
I built this paradise, I became a god!
I found my destiny, I made amends!

I felt content for once… I felt like I was at peace
I had control and now I’m losing it all
This is all destroyed by a plague of blasphemy
My conceited ways can’t help me anymore

I can see the darkness hiding everything I’ve come to love (Wake up!)
I’ll lay down in defeat, I have no more fight left (Wake up, you cannot leave now!)
If you could hear me, Mother, I’m screaming sorry (Open your eyes, this is not over!)
If you can hear me… I’m sorry (You’re stronger than this!)
You’re stronger… You’re stronger than this